Hang Up

Apologies mean nothing to me anymore. Because I know they can't take back pain or how an individual made someone feel. Neither will it fix what's broken. The fact remains that on several occasions lies were told. I could never forgive a liar and someone who can give up so easily. Someone who can hang up on a person who they claim to care for. Someone who will delete you out of their life.Everyone has a past that will hold them back from things, learn to get over it. Stop using it as an excuse. It is what it is. If your not in control of your emotions someone or something else is.
* My Words, My Canvas*

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Leave Me Alone

Believer

Never Felt The Way...

Free Floating

We search so much for the right choices, the right paths to walk, the right time, the right reasons, and the right person. But life isn't just about searching for things. It's also about letting the unexpected happen and finding joy in things and people we never searched for.

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The Person You Become

Notice: Most of my blogs are never personal. I do not like to talk about myself too much or to disclose a lot. However, it’s a new me. It is a new day. I would like to share more personal blogs with my audience. I also want to thank each and every one of you for being loyal readers. I truly appreciate it, and hope that I can keep my writing interesting enough for you to keep visiting.

Overtime things change and people change. Some become independent, control freaks, uptight, or free floating. We notice the changes accruing however, when do we realize that these characteristics have yield to the extreme?

I never changed because I had power or an ego. I changed because of every challenge life has thrown at me. I use to be a sweetheart, easy going and flexible. Overtime I started to adapt characteristic of extreme black and white things (either it is or it isn’t, yes or no), too independent to the point where even if I did need help I would never ask, and too structured. I want my old self back. I want to stay independent but don’t mind being taken care of, I want to do things on my own but if someone offers help I want to be able to accept, I want to be flexible, have fun and enjoy that ride. In order to do all that I need to lower my guard and that is something I am not willing to do at this point in time.

I went from someone who had feelings and who could feel emotion to someone who is numb. I have felt so much hurt and pain that I can’t feel anything anymore. I found it unsettling but at the same time I would have to say it was the best feeling in the world to feel cared for and to feel special. And then it disappeared. If I never feel that feeling again it’s okay, I’ll live. I just hope that one day I am lucky enough to feel that daily.

Currently, I do have a good head on my shoulders. I know what I want in life, I know where I am going, I have a plan and goals. I have a successful career that I thank god every day for. I have amazing friends who are there for me and a family who cares for me very much. Yet, I am working on bettering myself.

Happiness to Pain

It’s better to have never felt the happiness than to be tortured by the pain of it ending.
"My Words, My Canvas"

Blink of an Eye

I learned a long time ago, that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something. He can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant. A man must fill his life with meaning, meaning is not automatically given to life.

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Mistakes are often Life's way of clearing the path towards positive results.
*My Words, My Canvas*

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One serious talk gone gone gone

People should learn to face problems, not run away from them. If a person rather abandon you than talking things through it tells you a lot of them and how the future might be. Something gets tough and they run. Better to find out ahead of time instead of finding out when you both are in deep.
*My Words, My Canvas*

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Wish

It never ended....
*My Words, My Canvas*

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Shine!

Our Deepest Fear isn't that we are Inadequate, Our Deepest Fear is that We are Powerful beyond Measure.It is Our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We were all meant to shine. it's not in just some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same, as we are liberated from our own fear. Our presence automatically liberates to others.

My Responsibility!

Frustrated, aggravated, not good at all. These are some of the feelings running through my body, mind, and heart. My client ended up having to be restraint. I as his therapist have calmed him down before. I know exactly what to do. The client was lying on the floor banging his head against it. The first rule a therapist is always taught is, “do not harm.” If I allowed him to do that, I wasn’t fulfilling my therapeutic responsibility. I needed to get into that cell ASAP. Security stated, “You can’t go in there! There a males showering.” I stated, “I have to! That’s my client! I can calm him down. I won’t look, I’ll cover my eyes.” Males usually shower around the corner and no one can really see them. Don’t know what the big deal was. I am a therapist, and wasn’t going in there to look at penis. I forced myself into the cell! I spoke to my client and he became calm and wasn’t resistant anymore. One of the staff members (by the way she is a bitch) attempted to go call my boss the clinical director and complain about me. Good thing, he wasn’t there. I was the only therapist at the facility as that time. I myself after calming the client down went to my office and called the direct at home to inform him informed of what just happened and why I did what I did. He was okay with it and stated, “That is your therapeutic responsibility! We will talk more about this tomorrow.” I than wrote a statement gave one to security and placed on in my boss’s mailbox. What I did was right. Not wrong. Security has a responsibility which is safety. Therapists have even more responsibilities. My license is at stake, my malpractice insurance is at stake, and my client’s life is at stake. I will do everything to protect those things! I wish security would let therapist to their jobs and work together. If something were to happen today I would have had to suffer server consequences with the board of behavioral science. Staff/security would not have had it as bad. A lot was at stake here!
*My Words, My Canvas*