Posting After A While....

It has been a while since my last post. A lot has happened and I plan to do a full update soon. However I had a quick thought today. After a month I was contacted by someone I use to talk to. I stopped talking to him due to him being an arrogant douchbag. After talking to him very briefly today I remembered why I stopped talking to him and realized ...once a jerk always a jerk. Follow your instincts. And remember your first decision is the best decision. Things happen for a reason. 

*My Words, My Canvas*

Thought of the Morning...

Words for the younger generation or for those in denial : when a guy says "I'm not a jerk" or "I'm not a doochbag" he is usually lying.

*My Words, My Canvas*

Thought of the Night...

When everything finally is going right, why do I feel so wrong...
*My Words, My Canvas*

The Void...

From that void Came forth a flame, Brighter then the last.
*My Words, My Canvas*

Make Time For Each Other!

No matter if you are married, live together, live apart from each other, or you are in a long distance relationship; it is important to make some time for just the two of you. Our days can be filled quickly with the day to day responsibilities of work, family and household duties. Those responsibilities can quickly consume your day and night and before you know it, your free time exists only in your sleep. We can get so tired and worn out from everything else, that by the time you can enjoy each other’s company, all you can do is say goodnight at best. If this scenario gets out of hand, we can lose touch with our loved one and either or both of you will begin to feel neglected, undesired, and even unappreciated. It is at this time our relationship can become susceptible to influences and issues that normally would not have affected you before. At some point it could even get to a serious point of irreparable decline.

One of the most important needs we have as humans is the stimulation we get from other people. Happiness itself is partly derived from the relationships we have with other people. If the person we value the most is unavailable to us, then we can quickly find ourselves slipping into the darkness of unhappiness or even into a gradual depression. The best cure for the blues is to be around someone we enjoy being with, but being around them isn’t all we need, we need their attention. Being in the same room with our partner while they are consumed with work or other things aren’t going to provide us that happiness, it is going to require them to be there in body and mind.

If you have kids, then you have to spend quality time with them so they have their social needs met from their parents. But mom and dad need their own time as well. Both of you should spend time with the children, hopefully together, but then put them to bed at a reasonable time so the two of you can have your time. Make the same devotion to each other as you did in the beginning of the relationship for the benefit of the relationship, yourselves as individuals, and so your children can see what a healthy relationship looks like. We want our children to have the best in life, and be successful, but we can sometimes overlook the fact that they are learning from us not only about life and responsibilities, but also how to have a relationship. When the kids are up and around the two of you, make sure you are nice and loving with each other, so they see how to treat their significant other when they grow up. Let them see you hold hands, and help each other with the household chores. Let them see dad be a gentleman and put mom first. Give them a chance to learn and have a healthy relationship of their own someday. Don’t teach them to yell at their partner and call each other names or stay apart in different rooms.

Some of us have crazy work hours that can keep us from our family and our love. Sometimes we have to work more than one job or long hours at one job, and it can suck the energy right out of us and leave us with little to offer our partner. The bills we have and the responsibility to the family may dictate that we have no choice but to continue this way. While this can be unavoidable sometimes, the two of you still need the stimulation of each other’s company. So no matter how tired you are all the time, or how busy you are, you must make that time for your partner somewhere. This time can be during a lunch, coffee or even a bathroom break to text or call your partner. Even the littlest of efforts can be seen as grand gestures and highly appreciated by the ones we love. Go straight home when you leave work, splash water on your face if you need a little energy and spend even a few minutes with each other talking. Listen to each other so you both feel valued and important. You don’t need to try to solve each other’s issues, in fact most of the time neither of you want or need any input, we just need to be able to talk and have the person we love to care and listen.

If the two of you truly care and value the relationship you have, then both of you can find the time throughout the day and night to dedicate to each other. Phone calls, emails, and text messages should be used whenever that time cannot be spent in direct company of each other. When you can piece together a few minutes or more when you are in each other’s company, then you should grab that opportunity to be together. If your current schedules do not allow for that, then it is time for the two of you to decide what needs to be removed from your schedules to make that time. If you feel that romance and intimacy have left your relationship, then you should start here. The lack of romance or intimacy is a symptom of other issues, and realizing that and working to correct the real issue will allow the two of you to be intimate once again.

Thought of the Morning...

Instead of looking back at what you might have missed out on, look forward to what you can get excited about. *My Words, My Canvas*

What A Feeling...

I try to not to get excited
I can't help it
I can be myself
No fears
No restraints
The best feeling
Happiness
Peace
I try not to get excited
I seriously can't help it
 *My Words, My Canvas*

Melissa Gorga - How Many Times

Best song lyrics!

How many times
Did I feel I was lonely
How many times
Did I feel I couldn't make it
How many times [x3]
Did I turn to you

Whenever I needed
Someone to love me
Whenever I needed
Someone to touch me
How many times [x3]
It was always you

You're my rock
He's my heart
You place me upon a
Pedestal like I was the one

Now I know
Dreams come true
Every night I pray for you

When part of me died
He sent you to me
He knew that you be the right one for me
How many times [x3]
Did I turn to you

How many times
Did I feel I was falling
When I was lost
You heard me calling
How many times [x3]
It was always you

You're my rock
He's my heart
You place me upon a
Pedestal like I was the one

Now I know
Dreams come true
Every night I pray for you

I love you [x3]
I really do
I love you [x3]
I really do

Now I know
Dreams come true
Every night I pray for you

Now I know
Dreams come true
Every night I pray for you

Peace within Yourself...

As time passes we all grow and mature. I look back with no regrets but I do look back and think if I have ever hurt anyone intentionally or unintentionally. I personally took the time out today and contacted someone who deserves a long overdue apology. It doesn't matter to me if I ever hear from the person. I do know I made an effort and sent out a genuine apology. I urge you to look back.... Does someone you know deserve to be contacted and made peace with ? *My Words, My Canvas*

Gods Creation

If god had created us in his image what gives anyone the right to label someone as ugly? Honestly why judge anyone... Look in the mirror and realize what your deficits are and dedicate your time to improving yourself. Don't waste your time labeling others. It's not your job. We are gods creation always remember that. *My Words, My Canvas*

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Word to the Wise…

I have said it before but assumptions suck! A brief overview of the origination of this topic.

A friend of mine was going to visit me this month, I was super excited. Today my friend calls me and tells me that it’s not a good idea because he isn’t looking for a relationship.

I thought to myself: Wow, wow hold on let’s wait right there! A relationship?!? Um yeah buddy you have always been nothing more than just a FRIEND. I was excited that MY FRIEND was going to come visit. Never did I ever want a relationship with you neither did I think you were type.

In order to develop a relationship you need time and you need to get to know someone. You cannot jump into a relationship after sporadically talking every once in a while. I call that an acutance, lucky that I even gave it a title of friend.

Don’t assume things.

*My Words, My Canvas* 

Story of the Night.

I went out to dinner tonight with a bunch of my close friends and a few I just met the night before. Out of all these people I noticed one in particular who had an issue with me from the moment she met me. Tonight her demeanor was rude throwing low blows. Nothing I couldn't handle. I managed to shut her up. After dinner I was driving home and my friend said, "wow that girl really is unhappy with herself." I asked, "what do you mean." My friend stated, "well just her interaction with you was different then her interaction with everyone else. It seems like she was jealous."

I then realized and this will be my thought of the night....if you don't like who you are CHANGE it don't envy others! I am the way I am because I make an Effort in life. There is enough hate, jealousy, terror, pain and sadness in the world leave out of MY life.

*My Words, My Canvas*

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Update Over Time...

I have been MIA. A lot has happened and instead of writing a long post on what I've learned during this time, I am going to do a quick reference. What does that mean? Well I'll tell you what went on and what I learned (list style).

1) I finally decided to resign - Lesson Learned: You should always love what you do, and love the environment of where you work. If you do not like the environment (i.e. co-workers) you won't be happy.

2) I've started school again - Lesson Learned: Completing my Ph.D is my dream. Never let anything or anyone hold you back from accomplishing your goals and dreams.

3) Time to relax - Lesson Learned: Self-Care is very important. Often times we get so caught up in making money and being successful in life that we forget to take care of ourselves. Make sure you take an hour a day for yourself.

4) I've been very down - Lesson Learned - If one door closes another one opens. Don't ever give up. Stay positive.

5) My Birthday is on it's way. July 17th =) I'll be 27. I think I will have a big birthday bash. Lesson Learned: This is something I was never able to do. Celebrate yourself! Enjoy life.

*My Words, My Canvas*