Quote of the night

“All men's souls are immortal, but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.” Socrates

I Don't Understand Why...

I hate it when you are talking to someone or a better word would be venting and all they have to say is, "it could be worse" or "there are people out there less fortunate then you." Honestly, I work in a field where I am aware that people have it worse. But dammit can't you just listen to me instead of making me feel guilty? Do you really have to always minimize the problem so you feel better about yourself/ the situation? Why is your problem/situation considered small compared to others? Why are we being compared? Sometime you just have to listen! Don't make others feel bad for venting!

*My Words, My Canvas*

I Honestly Try...

This time it is different. Honestly, I am trying so hard but each time something goes wrong. I am constantly reminded that I am a fuck up. I am told things that make me feel bad. Never have I cried this much. Never have I ever been this depressed. My move to Texas seems like the biggest mistake of my life. Each day has been complete torture. I don't know who I am anymore. I have started to doubt myself, doubt my existence. When I imagined my life at 27 I thought things would be different. I thought I would be happy. Funny today someone said to me, its hard to make you smile. I replied with, my smile has disappeared. He responded with, "I can see that." I can walk around and fake a great smile, but it's hard knowing how hurt you really are on the inside. I try to be strong, I try to fight. I understand it would get worse. But when it's been bad for so long you think to yourself ...man I am ready to give up!

 *My Thoughts, My Canvas*

Heart?

It's weird to block feelings out for so long then one day wake up and begin to feel so intensely. Does that mean I'm beginning to have a heart? Where do I go from here? Will I ever be the same or am I growing up?

*My Words, My Canvas*