Monday, December 31, 2012
New Years Wish to My Readers
May the coming year be filled with peace, happiness and great health, With lots of luck and loads of wealth, Wishing you and your family a very happy new year! My wishes for you are, may you have a great start in January, may you find true love in February, may fun be filled in your life all through March to June, may troubles never find your way all through July to September, may your October and November have in store a special good news for you and finally may December make you look back and think about what a wonderful year you had. Happy New Year to you!
Respect
Men don't respect women anymore because so many women don't respect themselves.
*My Words, My Canvas*
*My Words, My Canvas*
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Pain
Whenever the clouds of pain and sadness loomed,
Whenever tears came till the eyelashes,
Whenever this lonely heart got scared,
I told my heart, Oh Heart, why do you cry?
This is what happens in this world…
This deep silence…the world has distributed it to everyone,
Some sadness is a part of everyone’s life,
Some sunshine is a part of everyone’s life,
Your eyes are wet without any reason,
Every second is a new season,r
Why do you let go of such priceless moments?
Oh Heart, why do you cry?
Whenever tears came till the eyelashes,
Whenever this lonely heart got scared,
I told my heart, Oh Heart, why do you cry?
This is what happens in this world…
This deep silence…the world has distributed it to everyone,
Some sadness is a part of everyone’s life,
Some sunshine is a part of everyone’s life,
Your eyes are wet without any reason,
Every second is a new season,r
Why do you let go of such priceless moments?
Oh Heart, why do you cry?
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
True feelings...
Been hurt since day one
Being born to having no father
Raised by strangers
Never belonging always alone
Where were they
Discarded like dirt
Never worth it
Never good enough
Abandoned
Careless
Cold
Caged in emotions
Never free
Never free
*My Words, My Canvas*
Being born to having no father
Raised by strangers
Never belonging always alone
Where were they
Discarded like dirt
Never worth it
Never good enough
Abandoned
Careless
Cold
Caged in emotions
Never free
Never free
*My Words, My Canvas*
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Abandonment/Rejection...
These are types of abandonment (rejection) issues that too many are facing today. Some are just things that happen, but then there are some that are meant to be rejection. People are afraid to become emotionally invested because they do not want another thing (person) they have to recover from. How you handle those feelings says much. You can choose to be bitter or angry or you can forgive.
Abandon To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert: abandon a friend in trouble.
A: to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent
B: to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in
One of the interesting things about the word abandon is that it is a transitive verb. It is an action verb with a direct object. It is doing, has done, or will do something to someone or something. It is a legal term generally associated with duty. Abandonment is not passive it is a choice.
Reject
1. To refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of.
2. To refuse to consider or grant; deny.
3. To refuse to recognize or give affection to (a person).
4. To discard as defective or useless; throw away
Some symptoms include loss of control of the situation, separation anxiety and yearning for the lost love, hoping for the possibility of the lost love's return and the desperation caused by this desire. Physiologically, some who feel abandoned may experience emotional withdrawal symptoms of abandonment, including the loss of opioids (hormones), which is similar to heroin withdrawal; the significance of extreme changes in appetite patterns; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; memory loss; the desire to self-medicate to endure the loss.
It also has a sense of not measuring up. The more that a person feels abandoned or rejected, the more likely they will turn into what they dislike. They will begin rejecting others who may love them, in favor of the ones who will hurt them. They may deny qualities that are good in them because someone else may disapprove.
Ultimately, they may become a people pleaser. They will go in search of acceptance wherever they think it can be found. Some will find it in religion, some will look for it in lovers, and the young may look for it in gangs. Some may find it a stretch that one person saying good-bye could have all this affect, but if a person has a lack of self-esteem or poor self-image, then it can become an issue.
Forgive them Forgive those you feel abandoned or rejected you. It will set you free to be you. Anger only ties you to them. You do not need to forgive them for their sake, but your own. You may have to remind yourself that you have forgiven them, but it is worth it. Forgiveness does not mean opening the door to letting them hurt you again.
Accept Yourself There is a saying that "no one can hurt you without your permission." Well, I don't think that is quite accurate, however there is a truth to it. The choices you make when you encounter abandonment and rejection are a testament to your character. It may hurt like hell, and maybe you might shoot daggers with your eyes if you encountered them, but if you will make the decision not to accept bitterness as an option, or find another way to handle this punch then you can come out better. The main thing is to accept yourself for who you are. If you cannot accept you then how can you expect anyone to? You have to be valuable in your own eyes before anyone else can see your true worth. If you treat yourself like trash then you will get people in your life that will do the same. Though change is mentioned please do not go overboard. If there are valid criticisms then decide if you want to make those changes. You are the person in control of your life. The decisions you make affect you first. Do not do it to get the person back or to accept you, because usually it is an excuse to get out of the relationship and not the real one anyway. Trust your instincts not someone else's.
Everybody always leaves. That's the scary thing. You never know who to love, who to trust, or which direction you want to go. You say you will never leave, but you always end up doing just that.
Leave.
It's what people do best. Some may not realize that, but it happens. You don't consider the consequences, good or bad. You would walk away from someone that needed you, you would leave them alone... Again. Just as you found them in the first place.
When you're young, it happens, and when you're old, it happens. People of all shapes and sizes leave, different ethnicity, different everything. You can never be 100% sure unless you know someone, but even then you're scared. You're scared of being alone, being abandoned... You would rather hate instead of being alone because then at least you knew someone was thinking about you, even in a bad way.
Because you can Never truly know what's in store for you until you enter, unless you take the initiative to do something about your unhappiness, your fear. But yet.... We understand. We understand that you're hesitant to trust. How can you tell what’s real? Whether it’s love or just lust? We should make everyone stay, stay a little longer. Hold them a little longer, kiss them a little longer, need them a little longer. Because once someone is gone, maybe we start getting used to the idea of not having them, and we become less and less dependent on that said person. It's not a game, and you're certainly no prize. You're far from perfection, and it's something you realize. You want them to promise to love you forever, but even promises are broken. They tell you over and over again, but it's always coming undone. Was it something you did? Something you said? You'll never know, but what you will know, is that something, along the line, something went wrong. And you pray with everything that it fixes itself, but it never does. You lie in bed, awake, for the second night with no chance of sleeping, thinking it was all a mistake. If people never entered, they would never have to leave.... So you've decided to give up, never let people in so they could never leave, but you know you would go insane. Sometimes all you need is a hug and reassurance to know you're wanted, needed, or just... There. You're not useless, but it's how you feel. You realize getting hurt is inevitable, but you don't want to go through it again... No, not again. No, you don't want the abuse, the marks, the bruises, the pain. You don't want the death, for your past to repeat itself.... You don't want to leave. All you want, is to be told, "I love you" from the person that it matters most.
You try so hard.... to be beautiful for once. To make yourself look... confident. You look for a comment, but it never comes. Do you know why? It's simply because they don't notice you. They don't notice your efforts because you're not worth the time. Maybe, on the outside there's a strong smile, but inside you're screaming. Everyone needs someone a while. Some days you're angry. At yourself, at the world, at a specific other. But you just want to be recognized, you suppose.
When you try, nothing comes. It's what you're used to. What can you do to keep them? Keep them with you, make them stay. If you dressed differently, acted different. It keeps you up for days on end. You're used to everything that happens but.... You want to change some that does....
But no one is there to help you...
You don't know what you can do anymore. Are you even good enough? Or is it pity? You can't tell the difference. All you do, is think. Think about it and sigh. It's in people's heads, and that's all. It's never there. What can you think? What can you do? Is there anything? No. You're not good enough.. Never will be. Because... no one notices you. No one is there. They all left.
But some are there. Some.
Abandon To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert: abandon a friend in trouble.
A: to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent
B: to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in
One of the interesting things about the word abandon is that it is a transitive verb. It is an action verb with a direct object. It is doing, has done, or will do something to someone or something. It is a legal term generally associated with duty. Abandonment is not passive it is a choice.
Reject
1. To refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of.
2. To refuse to consider or grant; deny.
3. To refuse to recognize or give affection to (a person).
4. To discard as defective or useless; throw away
Some symptoms include loss of control of the situation, separation anxiety and yearning for the lost love, hoping for the possibility of the lost love's return and the desperation caused by this desire. Physiologically, some who feel abandoned may experience emotional withdrawal symptoms of abandonment, including the loss of opioids (hormones), which is similar to heroin withdrawal; the significance of extreme changes in appetite patterns; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; memory loss; the desire to self-medicate to endure the loss.
It also has a sense of not measuring up. The more that a person feels abandoned or rejected, the more likely they will turn into what they dislike. They will begin rejecting others who may love them, in favor of the ones who will hurt them. They may deny qualities that are good in them because someone else may disapprove.
Ultimately, they may become a people pleaser. They will go in search of acceptance wherever they think it can be found. Some will find it in religion, some will look for it in lovers, and the young may look for it in gangs. Some may find it a stretch that one person saying good-bye could have all this affect, but if a person has a lack of self-esteem or poor self-image, then it can become an issue.
Forgive them Forgive those you feel abandoned or rejected you. It will set you free to be you. Anger only ties you to them. You do not need to forgive them for their sake, but your own. You may have to remind yourself that you have forgiven them, but it is worth it. Forgiveness does not mean opening the door to letting them hurt you again.
Accept Yourself There is a saying that "no one can hurt you without your permission." Well, I don't think that is quite accurate, however there is a truth to it. The choices you make when you encounter abandonment and rejection are a testament to your character. It may hurt like hell, and maybe you might shoot daggers with your eyes if you encountered them, but if you will make the decision not to accept bitterness as an option, or find another way to handle this punch then you can come out better. The main thing is to accept yourself for who you are. If you cannot accept you then how can you expect anyone to? You have to be valuable in your own eyes before anyone else can see your true worth. If you treat yourself like trash then you will get people in your life that will do the same. Though change is mentioned please do not go overboard. If there are valid criticisms then decide if you want to make those changes. You are the person in control of your life. The decisions you make affect you first. Do not do it to get the person back or to accept you, because usually it is an excuse to get out of the relationship and not the real one anyway. Trust your instincts not someone else's.
Everybody always leaves. That's the scary thing. You never know who to love, who to trust, or which direction you want to go. You say you will never leave, but you always end up doing just that.
Leave.
It's what people do best. Some may not realize that, but it happens. You don't consider the consequences, good or bad. You would walk away from someone that needed you, you would leave them alone... Again. Just as you found them in the first place.
When you're young, it happens, and when you're old, it happens. People of all shapes and sizes leave, different ethnicity, different everything. You can never be 100% sure unless you know someone, but even then you're scared. You're scared of being alone, being abandoned... You would rather hate instead of being alone because then at least you knew someone was thinking about you, even in a bad way.
Because you can Never truly know what's in store for you until you enter, unless you take the initiative to do something about your unhappiness, your fear. But yet.... We understand. We understand that you're hesitant to trust. How can you tell what’s real? Whether it’s love or just lust? We should make everyone stay, stay a little longer. Hold them a little longer, kiss them a little longer, need them a little longer. Because once someone is gone, maybe we start getting used to the idea of not having them, and we become less and less dependent on that said person. It's not a game, and you're certainly no prize. You're far from perfection, and it's something you realize. You want them to promise to love you forever, but even promises are broken. They tell you over and over again, but it's always coming undone. Was it something you did? Something you said? You'll never know, but what you will know, is that something, along the line, something went wrong. And you pray with everything that it fixes itself, but it never does. You lie in bed, awake, for the second night with no chance of sleeping, thinking it was all a mistake. If people never entered, they would never have to leave.... So you've decided to give up, never let people in so they could never leave, but you know you would go insane. Sometimes all you need is a hug and reassurance to know you're wanted, needed, or just... There. You're not useless, but it's how you feel. You realize getting hurt is inevitable, but you don't want to go through it again... No, not again. No, you don't want the abuse, the marks, the bruises, the pain. You don't want the death, for your past to repeat itself.... You don't want to leave. All you want, is to be told, "I love you" from the person that it matters most.
You try so hard.... to be beautiful for once. To make yourself look... confident. You look for a comment, but it never comes. Do you know why? It's simply because they don't notice you. They don't notice your efforts because you're not worth the time. Maybe, on the outside there's a strong smile, but inside you're screaming. Everyone needs someone a while. Some days you're angry. At yourself, at the world, at a specific other. But you just want to be recognized, you suppose.
When you try, nothing comes. It's what you're used to. What can you do to keep them? Keep them with you, make them stay. If you dressed differently, acted different. It keeps you up for days on end. You're used to everything that happens but.... You want to change some that does....
But no one is there to help you...
You don't know what you can do anymore. Are you even good enough? Or is it pity? You can't tell the difference. All you do, is think. Think about it and sigh. It's in people's heads, and that's all. It's never there. What can you think? What can you do? Is there anything? No. You're not good enough.. Never will be. Because... no one notices you. No one is there. They all left.
But some are there. Some.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
I Scare You...
The truth is, I intimidate you.
I scare you.
Because out of all the people in this world I am one of the rare ones who can see right through you. Behind that smile and nothing affects me attitude I see your pain.
That's why you avoid me.
I scare you....
*My Words, My Canvas*
I scare you.
Because out of all the people in this world I am one of the rare ones who can see right through you. Behind that smile and nothing affects me attitude I see your pain.
That's why you avoid me.
I scare you....
*My Words, My Canvas*
Monday, December 17, 2012
Tonight I Died...
Tonight I died
Unlike the Phoenix I didn't get another try
It is unusual
It is sad
That this time, unlike all the other times
I didn't wake up with my new chance
*My Words, My Canvas*
Unlike the Phoenix I didn't get another try
It is unusual
It is sad
That this time, unlike all the other times
I didn't wake up with my new chance
*My Words, My Canvas*
Unanswered...
I don't know if I am a desirable person, not just physically but emotionally, mentally and intellectually. I do know that I can never be that girl from that novel; I can never be that girl you want me to be; I can never be that girl who is desirable or good enough for you; I can never be that person who lives all these different lives. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. But I do know that I am me. As true and real as I can be. I also know that I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experiences possible in life.
*My Words, My Canvas*
*My Words, My Canvas*
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Interview With God...
"INTERVIEW WITH GOD"
I dreamed I had an interview with God.
"Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview Me?"
"If you have the time," I said.
God smiled and said: "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; what questions do you have in mind to ask me?"
"What surprises you most about humankind?"
God answered: "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..."
God's hands took mine and we were silent for while and then I asked... "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"
God replied with a smile: "To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved. To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives.
To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis!
To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them.
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.
To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.
To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally differently.
To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them and likes them anyway.
To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves."
I sat there for awhile enjoying the moment. I thanked Him for his time and for all that He has done for me and my family, and He replied, "Anytime. I'm here 24 hours a day. All you have to do is ask for me, and I'll answer."
I dreamed I had an interview with God.
"Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview Me?"
"If you have the time," I said.
God smiled and said: "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; what questions do you have in mind to ask me?"
"What surprises you most about humankind?"
God answered: "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..."
God's hands took mine and we were silent for while and then I asked... "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"
God replied with a smile: "To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved. To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives.
To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis!
To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them.
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.
To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.
To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally differently.
To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them and likes them anyway.
To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves."
I sat there for awhile enjoying the moment. I thanked Him for his time and for all that He has done for me and my family, and He replied, "Anytime. I'm here 24 hours a day. All you have to do is ask for me, and I'll answer."
True Colors
I've been waiting, for you to show your true colors, your show isn't fooling me, soon you will see, the true colors of your personality.
You've tried to hide your emotions, but those true colors are showing through, you're broken down to the last bone, don't try to fool me.
I've been sitting here, trying to get you to open your eyes, this is reality, your colors are starting to come through, don't fight the true color of your heart.
You've been watching your every step, trying to act like you haven't been hurt one bit, but those true colors are shining through, I can see it in your eyes, you've fallen from all you've ever known.
I'll be here until you're ready to tell me, but I already know what you're thinking, you think your true colors are hidden, but I can see right through that facade, your words only fool yourself.
*My Words, My Canvas*
I'm right here to listen, but you're pushing me away.
One day you'll come to me and I'll watch your lips tell me, "you saw my true colors and you were right."
You've tried to hide your emotions, but those true colors are showing through, you're broken down to the last bone, don't try to fool me.
I've been sitting here, trying to get you to open your eyes, this is reality, your colors are starting to come through, don't fight the true color of your heart.
You've been watching your every step, trying to act like you haven't been hurt one bit, but those true colors are shining through, I can see it in your eyes, you've fallen from all you've ever known.
I'll be here until you're ready to tell me, but I already know what you're thinking, you think your true colors are hidden, but I can see right through that facade, your words only fool yourself.
*My Words, My Canvas*
I'm right here to listen, but you're pushing me away.
One day you'll come to me and I'll watch your lips tell me, "you saw my true colors and you were right."
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
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