Abandonment/Rejection...

These are types of abandonment (rejection) issues that too many are facing today. Some are just things that happen, but then there are some that are meant to be rejection. People are afraid to become emotionally invested because they do not want another thing (person) they have to recover from. How you handle those feelings says much. You can choose to be bitter or angry or you can forgive.

Abandon To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert: abandon a friend in trouble.
A: to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent
B: to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in

One of the interesting things about the word abandon is that it is a transitive verb. It is an action verb with a direct object. It is doing, has done, or will do something to someone or something. It is a legal term generally associated with duty. Abandonment is not passive it is a choice.

Reject
1. To refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of. 
2. To refuse to consider or grant; deny.
3. To refuse to recognize or give affection to (a person).
4. To discard as defective or useless; throw away

Some symptoms include loss of control of the situation, separation anxiety and yearning for the lost love, hoping for the possibility of the lost love's return and the desperation caused by this desire. Physiologically, some who feel abandoned may experience emotional withdrawal symptoms of abandonment, including the loss of opioids (hormones), which is similar to heroin withdrawal; the significance of extreme changes in appetite patterns; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; memory loss; the desire to self-medicate to endure the loss.

It also has a sense of not measuring up. The more that a person feels abandoned or rejected, the more likely they will turn into what they dislike. They will begin rejecting others who may love them, in favor of the ones who will hurt them. They may deny qualities that are good in them because someone else may disapprove.

Ultimately, they may become a people pleaser. They will go in search of acceptance wherever they think it can be found. Some will find it in religion, some will look for it in lovers, and the young may look for it in gangs. Some may find it a stretch that one person saying good-bye could have all this affect, but if a person has a lack of self-esteem or poor self-image, then it can become an issue.


Forgive them Forgive those you feel abandoned or rejected you. It will set you free to be you. Anger only ties you to them. You do not need to forgive them for their sake, but your own. You may have to remind yourself that you have forgiven them, but it is worth it. Forgiveness does not mean opening the door to letting them hurt you again.

Accept Yourself There is a saying that "no one can hurt you without your permission." Well, I don't think that is quite accurate, however there is a truth to it. The choices you make when you encounter abandonment and rejection are a testament to your character. It may hurt like hell, and maybe you might shoot daggers with your eyes if you encountered them, but if you will make the decision not to accept bitterness as an option, or find another way to handle this punch then you can come out better. The main thing is to accept yourself for who you are. If you cannot accept you then how can you expect anyone to? You have to be valuable in your own eyes before anyone else can see your true worth. If you treat yourself like trash then you will get people in your life that will do the same. Though change is mentioned please do not go overboard. If there are valid criticisms then decide if you want to make those changes. You are the person in control of your life. The decisions you make affect you first. Do not do it to get the person back or to accept you, because usually it is an excuse to get out of the relationship and not the real one anyway. Trust your instincts not someone else's.

Everybody always leaves. That's the scary thing. You never know who to love, who to trust, or which direction you want to go. You say you will never leave, but you always end up doing just that.

Leave.

It's what people do best. Some may not realize that, but it happens. You don't consider the consequences, good or bad. You would walk away from someone that needed you, you would leave them alone... Again. Just as you found them in the first place.

When you're young, it happens, and when you're old, it happens. People of all shapes and sizes leave, different ethnicity, different everything. You can never be 100% sure unless you know someone, but even then you're scared. You're scared of being alone, being abandoned... You would rather hate instead of being alone because then at least you knew someone was thinking about you, even in a bad way.

Because you can Never truly know what's in store for you until you enter, unless you take the initiative to do something about your unhappiness, your fear. But yet.... We understand. We understand that you're hesitant to trust. How can you tell what’s real? Whether it’s love or just lust? We should make everyone stay, stay a little longer. Hold them a little longer, kiss them a little longer, need them a little longer. Because once someone is gone, maybe we start getting used to the idea of not having them, and we become less and less dependent on that said person. It's not a game, and you're certainly no prize. You're far from perfection, and it's something you realize. You want them to promise to love you forever, but even promises are broken. They tell you over and over again, but it's always coming undone. Was it something you did? Something you said? You'll never know, but what you will know, is that something, along the line, something went wrong. And you pray with everything that it fixes itself, but it never does. You lie in bed, awake, for the second night with no chance of sleeping, thinking it was all a mistake. If people never entered, they would never have to leave.... So you've decided to give up, never let people in so they could never leave, but you know you would go insane. Sometimes all you need is a hug and reassurance to know you're wanted, needed, or just... There. You're not useless, but it's how you feel. You realize getting hurt is inevitable, but you don't want to go through it again... No, not again. No, you don't want the abuse, the marks, the bruises, the pain. You don't want the death, for your past to repeat itself.... You don't want to leave. All you want, is to be told, "I love you" from the person that it matters most.

You try so hard.... to be beautiful for once. To make yourself look... confident. You look for a comment, but it never comes. Do you know why? It's simply because they don't notice you. They don't notice your efforts because you're not worth the time. Maybe, on the outside there's a strong smile, but inside you're screaming. Everyone needs someone a while. Some days you're angry. At yourself, at the world, at a specific other. But you just want to be recognized, you suppose.

When you try, nothing comes. It's what you're used to. What can you do to keep them? Keep them with you, make them stay. If you dressed differently, acted different. It keeps you up for days on end. You're used to everything that happens but.... You want to change some that does....

But no one is there to help you...

You don't know what you can do anymore. Are you even good enough? Or is it pity? You can't tell the difference. All you do, is think. Think about it and sigh. It's in people's heads, and that's all. It's never there. What can you think? What can you do? Is there anything? No. You're not good enough.. Never will be. Because... no one notices you. No one is there. They all left.

But some are there. Some.