This is tough because when suicidal thoughts show up, they don’t just go away when you want them to. They taint every part of you with darkness, it poisons all feelings. One way to prevent suicidal thoughts is by learning the Al Anon acronym for handling emotional overload:
HALT: You can keep terrible, defeating thoughts away, even if they have been haunting you. Don’t let yourself ever get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. If it starts to happen, correct, and change what is happening immediately. Make your own comfort a top priority.
A lot of you at this point would ask the same question I do, why? Why does it even matter? Because you matter! You matter to a lot of people who know you. You are aware of some of the people who care about you, but there are others, many others, who would miss you terribly if you were gone.
Take care of yourself when you start to feel pain. Feed yourself, rest, find a friend who lifts you when the sadness comes, and talk out your anger. Look together for solutions. When you feel angry and you notice you are stuck feeling upset, ask yourself: What can I do for me that will make things better, just for myself and right now?” Focus on something that will empower you. You can’t change others, but you can empower yourself. Practice self-care. Make your survival your top priority. Watch out for your own feelings; respect them, and keep your inner mood as light as possible.
You might feel that no one can help you. Maybe you don’t want to disturb them or you are too embarrassed to share. The truth is that people love to help their friends and family. What might look like a big secret for you, will sound much smaller to them. Ask for their help and support in a very frank way: “I need your support and help. Can you help me?”
If you feel that you can’t trust anyone, there is still a good solution. You can find support at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Suicidal thoughts like any other thoughts are temporary and eventually are replaced with new thoughts. Become a part of the solution. Keep in mind that suicidal thoughts can kill, but they don’t have to. If you recognize today that you are not your suicidal thoughts, but you are just a person who has temporary suicidal thoughts, than you can get help in time. Give yourself a gift–care for you, remember there is help out there, and reach out to get support. Have faith in your power to heal your pain.
Sometimes the thoughts aren't that temporary. Maybe as temporary as say diabetes, in which if given the proper attention and care one can subside or delay. When you push the idea that "I matter" especially in the instance of "to those that know you", sometimes the follow up is "and why do I matter to them". It's hard to find an answer that suffices. A lot of times, to come to the point of suicidal thoughts, it stems from a feeling of disconnect. A truth within yourself when you say "I just want someone to say it will be ok" and know that however nice it may sound they truly don't know that it will be. Even deeper you know that in order for someone to be able to honestly make such an assessment they would have to really know you. How many people really know you? The real you. Your hopes, dreams, fears.... And when you realize that connection doesn't exist you're left alone. Sometimes to vices that you use to convince yourself, drown out, convince others so that they fuel another superficial feeling of importance. Which again if you come to a stage of truth with yourself it brings you to emotional numbness as a survival mechanism and an added element of narcissism brought forth from the constant reinforcing of "I matter" or the lack there of. -Joseph Kerr
ReplyDelete