Infatuation

Dear Readers,

Over the next couple of days I will be writing a segment on Infatuation. I experienced this last year and it took me a while to get over it. I believe that Infatuation can consume us and really affect us in negative ways. For example, infatuation with a past relationship can prevent us from moving on in our current relationships.

To provide you a little background information on my circumstance: Last year, after breaking up with the boyfriend around mother’s day I was crushed. I took my time and attempted to get over him but just couldn't do it. I even attempted to go on a couple of dates.

This is an excerpt from one of my diary entries: A few months later and a dozen people later I still don't feel anything. Numb is what I can describe it as. I know I will never find the same connection. Someone who knows what's wrong as soon as they hear you say hello. And wise versa. I know that I will never feel for someone else how I did feel for him. I will never have what I had. I understand these things yet I wish I did have what I had. I wish I could find what I had. I wish what I had, never left. The key word wish doesn't mean anything. Because wishes only come true in Disney movies. I live in the real world. I sat down and read all my diary entries from when I had what I wish I still had and they are full of such joy and love. I never fell out of love with what I had. In the end, it is what it is...life is a bitch. But I still want and pray for what I had. I love him.

Several month after I wrote the blog I received a text from my ex. Without divulging too much information after reading the text I realized that I was never really in love with him at all. His text reminded me all the reasons why I broke up with him in the first place. I was obsessing and infatuated with the connection we had, that no other guy had given me since. I would never give anyone a chance. If I wasn't feeling the connection I would automatically get rid of the guy in less than an hour or a week. I continued to compare that connection to every single guy until a close friend of mine said, "STOP IT! You will never have that same connection ever again! BUT you might find an even better one! You just have to give a person time and be patient!" She then continued to yell at me and stated, “How long did it take you to build that connection?” I said, “Instant” she then stated, “Did the connection get better?” I stated, “Yeah it took 4 months but it grew stronger.” She then stated, “So it still took time right? Give people time!” Let me tell you after being yelled at and also given a reality check I realized I wasn't being fair to the guy(s) or to myself. I was torturing myself!

To all my readers please don’t do what I did. Write off every guy because he wasn’t my ex. If you with someone now be fair to that person and build your relationship. Let it reach greatness. Let it reach that true potential. If you recently broke it off with someone because of your infatuation with the past and have realized it was the wrong decision let that person know you’re sorry and that you still love them. It’s never too late to start over. It would be a tragedy to give up and never start over at all.

Tomorrow I will write a post on the stages of Infatuation.

*My Words, My Canvas*