It may not surprise you to learn that feeling worthless is very common among women. Feeling worthless is possibly the most obvious symptom of low self-esteem. But it's also one of the easiest to overcome. Feelings of worthlessness are entirely subjective. They are all in the mind. They have no basis in reality. They do not constitute a problem that requires fixing, and you can choose to stop feeling worthless simply by opening your mind.
You had some intrinsic value when you were born. Everybody does. You had a potential capacity to make the world a better place, to bring joy and happiness to others, to experience a sense of emotional, spiritual, and physical fulfilment. That was worth something. It still is. Because you still have a potential capacity to do those things. It's impossible to take away a living person's capacity to add value to the world. Only you can suppress that value. Only you can decide to hide yourself away, feeling empty and alone.
No matter how tough your childhood, no matter how rotten your luck, you can choose to enrich the world every day simply by the way you interact with others, by the way you make caring decisions, and by the way you feel about yourself. Feeling worthless is a safe option because it reduces the amount of pain you suffer when things go wrong. If you already know that you're no good and that no one will fall in love with you, or give you a job, or even care enough to listen to you, then when a rejection wings its way towards you - which it certainly will because it happens to all of us - then you're better prepared than most.
Feeling worthless is an easy option; if you're worthless there's no need to try to do well and succeed in the things that matter to you because there is simply no point. Also, if you act as if your opinions and your desires are all worthless then people leave you alone. If you say you have no remarkable skills or talents then there is no need to apply them. If you say that you are a useless, hopeless nobody then people will expect far less from you.
Deep down, all of us really want to feel valued. All you have to do is acknowledge your real value, accept it and then make a commitment to retain it and build upon it. Your self-esteem is more like a mosaic - made up of lots of little pieces, some of which can be damaged or missing to the detriment of the whole. You can make small improvements in one area or in several areas at the same time. Either way, the overall mosaic will become more defined, stronger, and more appealing.
The truth of the matter is that NO-ONE is worthless. Of course it's true that some people are born with physical features that are generally considered more beautiful than the average person's physical features. Other people are more intelligent, some are more athletic. It is important to make the most of who you are today and what you've got going for you right now. If you do this, and keep doing this day-in, day-out for the rest of your life, I can guarantee that you will never feel worthless again. You'll be far too busy adding value here, there and everywhere to stop and wallow in self-pity.
Acknowledge your real value by writing a list of your strengths, attributes and the good things that you do each day. Remind yourself of both your strengths and the areas you still need to work on. Make a commitment now to build your self-esteem and keep adding positive things to your life every day and find it within yourself to eliminate things from the negative side. Do more smiling, share more kind thoughts and caring emotions, be curious, optimistic, and courageous, work hard and have fun. And reduce the time and energy you expend in whining, moaning, or feeling sorry for yourself.
Be your own judge. You know yourself better than anyone and now that you're an adult it is up to you to decide your worth and to attempt to live up to realistic expectations of yourself.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Marianne Williamson -
Lord Jesus I come to You for hope. I come to You for courage. Lord I bring my burdens to You. I lay them down at the foot of Your cross. I pray that you would come and bring the comfort that I am looking for. Renew my strength. Help me to trust in You, Your Word and Your people. I pray You would bring a fresh sense of Your presence and touch on my life. Thank you for Your unconditional love Jesus. Amen
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